Boundaries Lead to Your Most Authentic Self
A life without boundaries can become chaotic and overwhelming. Maybe you have experienced the effects that a lack of boundaries can have and are unsure where to start. Creating intentional boundaries can lead to healthier relationships, less stress, and true autonomy over your life. Let’s think about boundaries as limits. We all have limits, whether knowingly or unknowingly, that allow us to thrive at our best. When those limits are stretched or crossed, we are not in alignment with what is most important to us in life.
Identifying Values
A good way to begin creating boundaries, is to first identify your values. The values you hold can inform where boundaries need to be held. If one of your values is having alone time during your week - then saying yes to every invite is not going to allow you the time you need to recharge. If one of your values is time with family - then maybe it’s not the right time to take on a new responsibility. You know you the best. You know what is important to you. If you haven’t already, take some time to reflect on what you value so you can create a life that is most reflective of who you are and who you are becoming. If you need help identifying your values, try this value exercise: Values Assessment Worksheet.
Saying No Means Saying Yes to You
Ouch, saying no can be so difficult. Especially if you have tendencies to avoid conflict or make others happy at all costs. I’ve been there. Saying yes to something you reallllly want to say no to, leads to the spiral of regret and burnout. Remember, saying no to one thing means saying yes to YOU! When you set boundaries, you will have space for the things you want to build your life on. Space for passion. Space for self care. Space for growth. Space to heal. Whatever it is that keeps you feeling alive - you’ll have space for exactly that.
Flexible Versus Fixed Boundaries
Life is not black and white. It’s okay (and even healthy!) to have some boundaries that are fixed and others that are more flexible. There will be seasons of your life that need more flexible boundaries. There may be relationships in your life that require flexibility. There could be responsibilities you have that are more fluid. Trust yourself, in your gut, to know which boundaries have more space to shift and which boundaries you need to draw hard lines on.
Boundaries Lead to Authenticity
Establishing boundaries leads to showing up as your most authentic self. The limits you decide to set, will naturally allow the true version of you to flourish. When your life reflects your values, instead of reflecting the values of others, you can be genuinely present in what you choose to say yes to. No more saying yes with a silent no in the background. No more saying yes with dread. Instead choose to say yes only when you can say it wholeheartedly. It’s important to extend this to all areas of your life - you can have emotional, physical, and mental boundaries that extend to your time, energy, relationships, career, and other parts of your life. To learn more about types of boundaries and setting your own boundaries, check out this worksheet: Boundaries Info Sheet.
You can do this. Be intentional. Start with your values, identify your limitations, start saying no to whatever doesn’t align with your authentic self - and you can live a life that you’re proud of and that you truly love.